..test of fate?..

..talk about getting your hopes high..i got the bad news last night..once again i got disappointed and hurt...have you ever had the feeling that no matter how you try make your plans work, they just won't work out..no matter how you try to be with someone, even for just 1 day, fate is just not on your side..like something's always keeping us from seeing each other..this would be the second time that he planned to come home, but something came up and he can't come home..i was really happy when he said that he'll try to come home this weekend..but something came up, it's not possible for him be with me this weekend..he can't come home..but i totally understand the situation...its just that i got my hopes high..too high maybe...just too see them all crashing down...when will i ever learn?!....i can't help but feel really sad right now...and i'm not feeling well, either...i don't want to mope all day but i'm really feeling down..i gotta be strong..not just for myself but for someone else..someone who, i think, is as disappointed as i am..fate once again is playing its tricks on me..on us...i just hope we'll make it through...i know we can..we just have to be strong...this test of fate is really pissing me off..but there's nothing i can do, i gotta fight...i have to be strong...

..if only i could ask fate to stop playing tricks on me and just leave me alone...but i guess i can't do that...no matter how hard i pray it will still continue to do what it does best-play tricks on every one..these tricks, trials, or tests (or whatever you might call them) are suppose to make me strong, right?...just have to hold on to life...