changes

..for the past few months i've faced a lot of minor and major changes...honestly i'm quite confused as to where i stand and who i really wanna be...do i remain as the simple, not-a-care-in-the-world melai that i was in highschool, or do i wanna be the somehow-active me in college..or the kikay melai during Channel days..or will i be th e melai in USAP that hangs around and just enjoys everything and everyone around her...or will i be leo's girl, simple, sweet, caring and honest (and thin..hehehe..kelangan ksma yan)

i'm trying to revive the melai that started this blog...the person who likes to wear eyeliner, who knows how to wear and walk in heels...i wish i could get her back...i left her about two years ago when i decided to move out...i like her better than who i am now...the person others see in me now has somehow forgotten how to take care of herself..

but what if getting that old me back also means loosing leo and everything else i have now...is it worth the risk?

new place, new beginning

..it's been more than two months since i have left the quiet place where i grew up...yes, there were issues from that place that i had to get away from..but i never thought things would be this hard here...i've been staying in the busy place called Pasig...i've been here for more than two months...in the first few weeks i have learned to keep my mouth shut about some things...but of course there will come a time when you know you have to speak up...and that's what happened...

..someone was doing things that i didn't like...she was telling a lot of things about me...then i got pissed off, i confronted her...not knowing that a big mess would come my way once i spoke up...
..and yes that BIG MESS indeed came...and it didn't end there...even her parents are joining in on the fight that we have...which pisses me off and at the same time makes me the kind of animals they are...if they only knew what their daughter have been doing since she met my hubby...then maybe they wouldn't react that way...well...right now i don't care...they can do or say whatever they want..i don't give a damn...as long as i know that leo is on my side I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!...

..yes it hurts to know that you can't even fight for yourself at times when you know you have every right to do so...but what the hell...i can't defend myself?...i do care...i wan't to defend myself...but i don't want to stoop to their level...so i'll just keep everything to myself and stay as the intelligent young lady that i am...

..i still have leo...and i know i always will...