..lately

..i haven't been myself lately...slowly things that used to matter the most to me are starting to slip away....he knows how busy i've been..he knows how hard the changes have been for me...i know he's trying to understand everything that's happening...but it seems that he can't....i know i'm hurting him with everything...every hour that i seem to manage to make him feel unimportant...but it's not true...he's still important...very important to me...it's just that lately i have to joggle a lot of things...a lot of important things...i hope he gets to read this....i don't know how to explain myself to him...i want things back the way they used to be...but i'm afraid that slowly i'm growing..growing more preoccupied with so many things..dealing with the life that i have here-away from him.....growing more mature...slowly growing away from him.....

..slowly i'm getting used to him being away...to him not being able to be there for me.......slowly i'm getting used to not having him....i don't want to get used to it......i gotta go back to who i used to be...i gotta go back to the person who's always longing for him.......i gotta go back.... ='(