..torn

..life is in deed full of pain and grief.....just when you think everything's ok it just hits you with something that you never saw coming...

it's true that laughter is usually followed by tears...i was laughing so hard that day....

i never thought that my laughter would cause someone else's pain...

the worst part is the karma turned to someone i care for....

the laughter that i was giving out caused my husband too much pain....

why?.... how?.....

with just one text message....and a phone call from his brother....

i won't elaborate more on this...but just a clue

to leave you hanging...that text message sent me running home from work

an hour before my scheduled off....

...and that phonecall sent tears running down my husbands cheeks...

and the thing is he never cries...not unless it's because of me or his mom....

..up until now i'm trying to figure out what to do....

i don't know which is the best thing to do...

should i help him find a way to fix things....

or should i help him accept the painful truth of what's about to happen...

..to fix things means i will help him find a way to ease his pain...

but it also means that i will help him be selfish and not think of other's pain...

..to help accept the truth also means that i have to see him get hurt...

..it means that i may have to hurt him with the things that i have to say,.,

...If you were in my place what would you do?....

..crazy

..life has been crazy lately...i've been crazy...i just wish things would just go back the way they were...maybe..just maybe i'll be able to finish all the tasks i'm expected to do...


waaaahhhh!!!!!



i got to work now....

but i'm feeling quite sleepy....

feeling sleepy....




so sleepy....




must




not




sleep




must





work






...can't help it






...no!!!!!!!!!!







zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZ





..melai is now asleep..
pls leave a message sa ym (LOLZ)...

..ice skating

"When life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness, who will you choose to face it with? Will it be someone you trust? Will they be wise? And will their love for you help them to guide you to the light? Or will they lose their way in the darkness. Will they make noble choices or will that person be someone untested? Someone new? Life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness. When it does - is there someone in your life you can count on? Someone who'll watch over you when you stumble and fall, and in that moment give you the strength to face your fears alone.."

..these words were taken from one of my favorite tv series - one tree hill... these lines made me think..is there someone watching over me? will he wait till i stumble or will he catch my fall?..i've had my share disappointments and failures in my life..stumble? i stumbled a lot in the past...but the thing is life is just like ice skating -when you really don't know how to ice skate...when you fall you try to get up..the more you try to get up the more you'll fall, and sometimes you'll fall harder..when you've already managed to stand up and you think you can manage to take one step or one glide..you'll fall..a lot harder than your previous fall..a lot more painful..at one point you'll get tired and think that it is better to sit on the ice and just let the cold temperature eat you up...but isn't it better to keep trying to stand up and skate?...coz after several hard and painful falls you'll learn how to stand up on ice with skates on your feet..sooner or later you'll learn how to walk on ice..you'll learn to glide..all you need is courage to stand up and take that first step..sooner or later the bruises and wounds you got from falling too hard will no longer be visible..they will all be nothing but marks or memories of the times you fell....picture yourself in a rink (ice skating rink)..you are standing alone at the center..who do you see standing next to you? who will take your hand and help you make that first step? who will help you stand up when you start to fall again...will that person wait for you to fall or will he catch your fall so you won't hit the ground..when you are in a rink the only thing the other person can do for you is hold your hand tight..he can't catch your fall..he can guide you but he cannot make the steps for you...

..When life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness, who will you choose to face it with?..i'd face it with him..but i won't hide behind his back..i won't hide..i won't be afraid..he need not protect me...i have to face life..all he can do is hold my hand and lead me to the light..he can't face life for me..this life is mine to face and to conquer..

..if life comes rushing at me i'll be ready..
..i'll face it...